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NFL Researchers Discover New Playoff Scenario In Which Steelers, Bengals Share AFC’s 6th Seed

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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NFL Researchers Discover New Playoff Scenario In Which Steelers, Bengals Share AFC’s 6th Seed

NEW YORK—After working through thousands of tiebreaker hypotheticals, scientists in the NFL’s research division reported Thursday that they had discovered a previously unknown playoff configuration in which the Cincinnati Bengals and Pittsburgh Steelers would share the AFC’s sixth seed. “According to our calculations, if Cincinnati and Pittsburgh are tied at the end of the season with identical head-to-head, divisional, and conference records, it would cause both teams to simultaneously occupy the same playoff seed,” said NFL theoretical analyst Dr. Graham Scheer, explaining that under the scenario, the two AFC North rivals would merge into one massive 106-man roster to play against the third seed in the wild card round of the playoffs. “Moreover, if what we are postulating occurs, and if the players are able to overcome their animosity and work together, then there would, in theory, be nothing to prevent the combined Bengals-Steelers squad from making a deep playoff run.” Scheer noted that the only other time a similar situation occurred was in the 1984 season, when the San Francisco 49ers and Los Angeles Rams famously shared the NFC’s first seed, going on to jointly win Super Bowl XIX.

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