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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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NFL Still Removing Confused Replacement Referees From Replay Booths

NEW YORK—Nearly a month after the end of the referee lockout, the NFL is still struggling to remove frightened and confused replacement officials from replay booths, league sources confirmed Monday. “Every time I enter the booth, I find a couple bewildered replacement refs inside, skittishly bumping into each other and all the equipment,” crew chief Ed Hochuli said. “I swear I took one guy out of there twice. He didn’t seem to understand the words ‘get out of here,’ so I had to go get a broom to scare him off.” Hochuli confirmed that he found one replacement referee covered in blood from repeatedly attempting to exit the booth through the replay monitor.

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