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NFL: Thank God That Bounty Thing Is Over And All Fixed Now

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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NFL: Thank God That Bounty Thing Is Over And All Fixed Now

NEW YORK—In a statement late Friday expressing its heartfelt relief at the passing of what it said was "really not a big deal after all, it turns out," the National Football League thanked God that the issue of defensive players being paid to injure opponents was, in fact, over. "Phew!" read the press release from the NFL, which was signed by Commissioner Roger Goodell, all 32 team presidents, and the heads of the officiating and rules committees. "That was kind of ugly for a little bit, right? But it's all over and we can go on knowing that nothing like that will ever happen again. Not that anything happened. Who's excited for the draft?" The press release was issued as part of a series of official statements with titles such as "Head Injuries: I Know, Right?" and "Undetectable Performance-Enhancing Drugs—Whaaaat? Shut Up!"

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