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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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NFL To Add Second Team In Jacksonville

NEW YORK—Citing the overwhelming success of the Jacksonville Jaguars, NFL officials unveiled plans Tuesday to add a second franchise in Jacksonville by the 2017 season. “Over the last 20 years, we’ve seen that Jacksonville, Florida is a city passionately devoted to professional football,” said league commissioner Roger Goodell, adding that he believes the market in Jacksonville can easily sustain one, if not two or three additional NFL teams. “Obviously, the Jaguars have set a very high bar that would be difficult for a second team to surpass, but if the Jacksonville Pythons were to enjoy even a small fraction of the Jaguars’ popularity, this would be a worthwhile investment.” Officials revealed that to maintain inter-conference balance, the league would also add a team in San Diego, St. Louis, or Tampa Bay.

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