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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
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NFL To Expand Season To However Many Games It Takes To Permanently Injure Ray Lewis

NEW YORK—NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced plans Monday to expand the 2011-2012 football season from the usual 16 games to as many as it takes for Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis to suffer a career-ending injury. "We know what millions of loyal football fans really want to see: more games, and Ray Lewis suffering a catastrophic head or knee injury that keeps him off the field forever, so this is just a total win-win," said Goodell, adding that if necessary, the Ravens would play 15 games in a row against the Saints and their top-ranked offensive line. "Eighteen, 20, 30 games—hell, we'll play 50 games if [Lewis] still has any sensation from the waist down whatsoever." League officials added that if the 14-year veteran were somehow still standing after 72 games, they would remain open to backing over him with a truck and starting the playoffs the following week.

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