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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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NFL To Reduce Penalties By Installing Hundreds Of Security Cameras

NEW YORK—In a new effort to deter rule violations and reduce penalty rates across the league, the NFL announced Thursday it would install hundreds of security cameras in stadiums and constantly monitor players during games. “This new surveillance system will effectively prevent penalties, because players know that the moment they step on the football field, we’ll be closely watching them at all times,” said Commissioner Roger Goodell, adding that currently referees can’t see every face mask, clipping, or horse-collar tackle that occurs on the field and sidelines, and have been unable to address why players decide to break rules in the first place. “I’m confident the dense placement of security cameras will significantly decrease the number of illegal formations, neutral zone infractions, and equipment violations in the league, creating a safer, more harmonious sport for all. Our video analysis software features an advanced number-recognition program that allows those working in the NFL’s Central Monitoring Center to identify suspects committing personal fouls and impose the proper punishment.” The NFL also announced plans to combat improper off-field conduct by installing cameras inside locker rooms, strip clubs near stadiums, and the homes of players and coaches.

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