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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.
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NHL Loses Rights To NHL.com, Moves Website To NHLHockeySports.com

NEW YORK—In a disappointing coda to one of its most thrilling seasons in years, the NHL lost its longstanding Internet domain last week when executives failed to pay the renewal fee for NHL.com, allowing 18-year-old California resident Fredrick Westfield to purchase the URL for $10.69. "While our online situation is not ideal, our fans will still be able to get all the latest breaking hockey news they crave at NHLHockeySports.com," Commissioner Gary Bettman said of the domain his league will use unless Westfield lowers his NHL.com asking price from the "exorbitant sum" of $2,000 to something more reasonable. "Fans can still be friends with the NHL on Facebook and MySpace, where we post tons of great stuff like photos, videos, scores, and poll questions." Bettman later admitted that he wasn't sure how the problem was overlooked nine months ago when the league was forced to upgrade from its previous Yahoo! GeoCities hosting platform.

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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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