adBlockCheck

Sports

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
End Of Section
  • More News

NHL Loses Rights To NHL.com, Moves Website To NHLHockeySports.com

NEW YORK—In a disappointing coda to one of its most thrilling seasons in years, the NHL lost its longstanding Internet domain last week when executives failed to pay the renewal fee for NHL.com, allowing 18-year-old California resident Fredrick Westfield to purchase the URL for $10.69. "While our online situation is not ideal, our fans will still be able to get all the latest breaking hockey news they crave at NHLHockeySports.com," Commissioner Gary Bettman said of the domain his league will use unless Westfield lowers his NHL.com asking price from the "exorbitant sum" of $2,000 to something more reasonable. "Fans can still be friends with the NHL on Facebook and MySpace, where we post tons of great stuff like photos, videos, scores, and poll questions." Bettman later admitted that he wasn't sure how the problem was overlooked nine months ago when the league was forced to upgrade from its previous Yahoo! GeoCities hosting platform.

More from this section

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close