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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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NHL Offers Will Ferrell $350 To Do Movie About Hockey

NEW YORK—National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman announced yesterday that the NHL has offered actor/comedian Will Ferrell $350 to write, direct, and star in a sports comedy about the game of hockey. "We deliberated long and hard about spending our entire promotions budget on a single venture, but I think investing in Mr. Ferrell is a wise choice," Bettman told reporters, adding that an 80-minute Will Ferrell hockey movie can give the league more visibility than an 82-game season ever could. "If Mr. Ferrell chooses to take on this project, he will have complete creative control and all the league's resources at his disposal—zambonis, hockey sticks, Wayne Gretzky—whatever he needs to make a funny movie about hockey. The movie doesn't even necessarily have to be about hockey, just so long as there is some hockey in it." Former Saturday Night Live cast member Ferrell reportedly made $20 million for his last film.

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