NHL Outdoor Games Inspiring More Kids To Go Outside And Play Hockey At Local NFL Stadiums

Top Headlines

After Birth

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.

The Pros And Cons Of Co-Sleeping

The act of co-sleeping, where babies and toddlers share a “family bed” with their parents, is a rising trend in the United States, though the practice is contested by those who doubt its purported benefits. Here are the pros and cons of co-sleeping with your child

The Onion’s Guide To Trick-Or-Treating

Halloween gives revelers a chance to receive candy all over the neighborhood. Here are some tips to make sure you get the most out of your experience and take home a big haul.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

NHL Outdoor Games Inspiring More Kids To Go Outside And Play Hockey At Local NFL Stadiums

CHICAGO—Claiming that the events have reinvigorated the sport at youth level, USA Hockey officials announced Thursday that the NHL’s increasingly popular “Stadium Series” games are inspiring children across the country to go out and play hockey with their friends at nearby NFL stadiums. “Not everybody lives next door to an ice rink, but these outdoor games have made kids realize that all you need to play hockey is a puck, a few friends, and a 65,000-seat open-air arena,” said USA Hockey president Ron Degregorio, adding that children need only ride their bikes to neighboring NFL stadiums to play pickup games until it gets too dark to see, at which point they can just turn on the venue’s 1,500-watt floodlights. “Sure, they don’t have boards like an actual hockey rink, but you just need to pile up some snow along the perimeter of the ice and it works just fine. It’s just great to see kids getting out into the elements and enjoying the great sport of hockey—whether it’s at Ford Field, M&T Bank Stadium, or even just on the infield of a Major League ballpark.” Degregorio added that if there is no ice on the ground, young players can simply turn off their local stadium’s sub-turf heating system and use hose water to create a makeshift rink.

After Birth Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close