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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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NHL Players Admit They Have No Idea How Line Changes Work

NEW YORK—Claiming that there is ostensibly no rhyme or reason to the sport's frequent in-game substitutions, players from across the NHL admitted Wednesday that they have absolutely no idea how line changes work. “Honestly, most of the time I just try to jump onto the ice whenever I can, and then I’ll come back to the bench when I get tired,” said Chicago Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews, adding that the changes are especially confusing following icing calls, when “some guys are allowed to change but other guys aren’t.” “I know certain players are supposed to go out at specific times and in ‘shifts’ or whatever, but I couldn’t even begin to tell you who, when, or why. Like when we’re on a power play, there are certain guys who are supposed to play, but then if the other team is on a power play, a whole different set of guys go out. And most of the time we have to sub in and out while the game is still going on. It’s just chaos.” A majority of players also confirmed they would much prefer having some kind of buzzer sewn into their uniforms to alert them when it’s their turn to take the ice.

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