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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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NHL: Toothless Players Gumming On Each Other's Fingers Is Harmless

NEW YORK—In response to critics calling on the NHL to suspend Canucks forward Alex Burrows for biting an opponent’s finger during the Stanley Cup Finals, league officials released a statement Tuesday saying that toothless hockey players gumming on one another is harmless and to be expected. “[Burrows] is going through a phase where his mouth is really hurting him, so it’s completely understandable that he would gum down on a competitor’s finger to get some relief,” said NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, adding that most hockey players begin gumming on fellow competitors’ hands four to six months into the season. “Most of the time they’re not even angry when they do it. They’re just looking to explore. It’s actually kind of cute.” Bettman went on to say that the NHL “cares deeply” about athlete safety, and always makes sure not to leave any small objects around the ice that players could put into their mouths and choke on.

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