adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

NHL Trade Deadline Passes Without Single Noticeable Change

DETROIT—Despite a record-breaking number of trades made on the day of the first trade deadline since the 2004-2005 lockout, league insiders and die-hard NHL fans alike have failed to recognize that anything is different, according to NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. "I know for a fact that over 50 players were traded, including a bunch of Russians, some Finnish goaltenders, and a few Czechs or Slovakians or something who were dealt amongst the 30 or so NHL teams. Still, it's hard to remember names and positions without having the paperwork in front of me," Bettman said. "However, I can state for the record that there are a number of new lantern-jawed, gap-toothed, largely interchangeable faces in locker rooms throughout the league. I guess they all just wanted to play in other cities." An ESPN quick-poll determined that most sports fans were unaware of the NHL players who were traded, the NHL trade deadline, or the NHL.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close