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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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NHL's New 'Blue Zone' Channel Only Shows Games When The Puck Is Within 3 Feet Of One Of The Blue Lines

NEW YORK—Boasting that fans will now be able to see "every crossing of neutral ice and many of the faceoffs from every game," the National Hockey League introduced its new "Blue Zone" subscription-only programming channel Saturday. "See the beginning faceoff of each game and all the change-of-possession action between the intensity-packed blue lines," a press release from the league read in part. "Everything from every matchup except the scoring, the saves, the struggle for the puck in the corners, and the majority of the checking—only on the Blue Zone." A spokesperson for the league said the NHL had not considered a broadcast format that included all the on-ice action, as whenever that "gimmick" had been tried in the past, "no one was interested."

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