adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Nick Jr. Suspends Production On 'The Almighty Muhammad's Porkalicious Toon Jihad'

LOS ANGELES—Responding to the ongoing protests from millions of Muslims over the depictions of the Prophet Muhammad, American television channel Nick Jr. announced today it was suspending production on its forthcoming children’s program The Almighty Muhammad’s Porkalicious Toon Jihad.

The half-hour animated television show, which centers around the wacky Jihadist adventures of the Islamic prophet and his mischievous pig friend Abrahammy, was slated to begin airing this October.

“At this time, our company believes it is best to temporarily remove The Almighty Muhammad’s Porkalicious Toon Jihad from Nick Jr.’s fall programming schedule,” Viacom executive Todd Coates said. “While we still believe that thousands of young viewers would really enjoy seeing Muhammad go on his weekly pilgrimages to his big bacon mosque with his rabbi friends Hershel and Moishe, our company nonetheless believes it’s best to indefinitely postpone the show’s release.”

“This isn’t to say Porkalicious Toon Jihad will never see the light of day,” Coates added. “Hopefully, when the international climate is slightly less volatile, children will be able to enjoy all of Muhammad’s hijinks, especially in the episode ‘Weeee! Muhammad,’ in which he takes his yearly hajj to Mecca Land by sliding down the Magical Chute of Greasy Bacon Fat.”

Members of the show’s staff told reporters that the surprise cancellation comes just as they had completed 12 out of the show’s 24 episodes, including a very special Eid-ul-Fitr Porktacular, in which the prophet learns to get along with his infidel enemies after they teach him how to truly enjoy the beach by surfing on a Quran.

Showrunners also regretted that children would not be introduced to the program’s beloved character Allah, who in the cartoon is portrayed as Muhammad’s attractive cool babysitter, whom the young prophet is constantly trying to impress.

“The show might sound a little controversial, but I think after watching it people will get that ‘Porkalicious Toon Jihad’ is just a big fun time,” show creator Matt Radnor told reporters. “Personally, I think the episode where Muhammad and Allah learn to work with Satan to pull off the Medina Town Fair is quite uplifting.”

At press time, Mattel announced it had also halted production on thousands of the Almighty Muhammad promotional items, including clothes, lunch boxes, and a kit that would allow children to dress up a plastic figurine Muhammad in more than 17 different types of pig-based accessories.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close