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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Nickel Back Mentoring Dime Back

NASHVILLE, TN—Titans nickel back Vincent Fuller announced Tuesday that he was taking dime back Eric King under his nickel-backing wing in an effort to help the fourth-year player develop the coverage skills necessary to play in long passing situations—and in the hope that King would himself mature into a nickel back someday. "Showing Eric the third-down-and-more-than-10-to-go ropes is personally fulfilling, and I think he's starting to feel like he's really a part of the secondary," said Fuller, adding that he was happy to be the kind of trusted situational defense counselor King could look up to. "Mostly I try to share my experiences on the field and emphasize that, even though dime back is only a part-time defensive position, he needs to make the most of his three to five opportunities each game. We've talked a lot about him breaking out of his soft-cover backpedal, working on his tackling, and, uh, the backpedal thing some more." Fuller meets with King three times a week to work with the dime back to eliminate penalties, quiz him about defending routes, and make sure things are going good at home.

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