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Man With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For Mazda

In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda driver with two Mazdas in his garage at home, said Thursday his loyalty to the car manufacturer was so strong that he would be willing to kill in its name.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:
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Night Of Watching Game Show Network Leaves Man Concerned About Life Insurance

BRIDGEWATER, IA—Shortly after watching back-to-back episodes of Love Connection, The Newlywed Game, and Lingo Monday night, local resident Fred Grossman, 26, began suddenly to worry about finding the life insurance policy that is right for him. "Who is going to care for my loved ones when I am gone?" said the unemployed, unmarried Grossman, who also thinks he may have an enlarged prostate, and is wondering why he's been picking up his pet medication at the vet when he could have it delivered right to his door for just a small monthly fee. "Isn't it about time I gave my family the peace of mind they deserve?" The following afternoon, after sitting through a three-hour block of daytime talk shows, Grossman announced an abrupt decision to pursue an exciting career in either criminal justice or air conditioning and refrigeration repair.

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