adBlockCheck

Night On Town Fails To Rekindle Fading Business Relationship

Top Headlines

Business

Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts, talking to the high school sophomore who has become a conservative hero for refusing to learn his Spanish vocabulary.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content

Home Depot Employee Can Tell This Customer’s First Attempt At Pipe Bomb

APPLETON, WI—Shaking his head Monday as the customer selected a length of plastic pipe over a stronger metal alternative and placed it into his shopping cart, local Home Depot sales associate Graham Warner, 57, was reportedly able to tell right away that this was the store patron’s first attempt at making a pipe bomb.

Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

KFC Introduces New Previously Owned 20-Piece Hot Wings

LOUISVILLE, KY—In an effort to meet the changing demands of its consumers, fast-food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken announced Wednesday that it has begun offering customers the option of purchasing, at a significant discount, a 20-piece box of pre-owned hot wings.

Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Describing them as “the best pretzels out there” and “the only ones [he] buy[s],” local resident Ned Carlisle expressed his firm loyalty to Snyder’s of Hanover–brand pretzels Tuesday.

New Mountain Dew Vows To Kill 99.9% Of Stomach Bacteria

PURCHASE, NY—Touting the beverage’s refreshing citrus taste, tongue-tingling carbonation, and prescription-strength antimicrobial properties, PepsiCo officials announced Wednesday that their newest product, Mountain Dew Code White, kills 99.9 percent of consumers’ stomach bacteria.

Heart Attack A Real Wake-Up Call For Man’s Insurance Provider

HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.

Big-Box Stores Vs. Small Businesses

While massive superstores like Walmart and Target have dominated the retail landscape for years, many shoppers are rejecting them in favor of smaller, locally owned shops. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the two options:

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Night On Town Fails To Rekindle Fading Business Relationship

AUSTIN, TX—Hopes of reviving a once-thriving business partnership were dashed Monday when a night on the town only served to remind local entrepreneurs Terry Argento, 33, and B.J. Dreschler, 37, why they initially parted.

Argento and Dreschler.

"We had to face the music—B.J. and I can never do business the way we used to," said Argento, vice president of Argento Homes, a manufacturer of modular housing serving the greater Austin area since 1967. "We've grown apart, and Monday night clarified that for both of us. It's sad, but at this point, we have nothing to offer each other."

Dreschler, owner of Dreschler Plumbing Supply And Installation, was Argento's sole supplier of plumbing equipment for "five terrific, unforgettable years."

"Teaming with Terry was the single greatest entrepreneurial experience of my life," said Dreschler, who still keeps all of Argento's signed invoices. "Even though our partnership cooled over two years ago, not a day goes by when I don't think of it... but Monday night was a mistake."

Both men warmly recalled their early transactions.

"Once, I wanted to talk Terry into ordering a shipment of cast-iron bathtubs for his more upscale pre-fabs, but I wasn't sure he'd go for it," Dreschler said. "So I started to say, 'You know, you could do worse than acrylic,' and Terry said, 'But Argento homes are built to last, and one way to convince our customers of that is to go with the cast iron.' I was in heaven."

Yet, as is often the case with exclusive business relationships, the good times didn't last, and after several tumultuous years in business, the two ultimately dissolved their partnership in 2003.

"It wasn't the smoothest parting," Dreschler said. "I'll admit that I was angry at Terry for going to a larger firm, but we were both growing and changing, and I'd be deceiving myself if I didn't admit I was getting bored with selling him bathroom and kitchen fixtures."

Once they allowed their exclusive partnership to expire, the two men interacted little outside of holiday cards and the occasional phone call regarding an old contract. After three years of limited contact, it was Argento who proposed that the two meet for dinner and drinks at the Outback Steakhouse, the site of their first casual business meeting, to discuss a new partnership.

Dreschler said he was "stunned" by Argento's invitation and accepted it "a little too eagerly." Yet, minutes after the call, "reality set in."

The site of the first and final business meetings between Argento and Dreschler (above).

Said Dreschler: "I was hoping he didn't want to reunite, because it wasn't going to happen. There was too much baggage. Still, I was dying to find out who he was buying sinks from."

Both men characterized the night as a disappointment. According to Argento, long, awkward silences plagued the meeting, even as a song came on the jukebox that often played on the radio when Dreschler installed sewage pumps on Argento's properties. Argento said he "racked his brain" for collaborative projects to propose while Dreschler silently sipped his beer.

"We went to Thank-Cue Billiards after dinner and played a few rounds, but really, even though I hadn't seen B.J. in ages, I might as well have been shooting pool with my heating-and-cooling contractor or my vinyl-siding supplier," Argento said. "I felt nothing."

Dreschler said that, although he felt no real hostility toward Argento, lingering bitterness over the non-renewal of his contract tainted the evening.

"I never really got past that whole thing, and it got so that I just wanted the night to end," Dreschler said. "Like, what was the point of it all? Where do I fit in this guy's professional life, and he in mine?"

At the end of the evening, the men bade each other awkward goodbyes, knowing that their business relationship, once so full of high hopes and expectations, had come to an end.

"For the first time, I feel some closure," Dreschler said. "I thought I needed a partnership to feel fulfilled, but the night on the town with Terry helped me realize that I'm happy exactly where I am."

Argento, meanwhile, said he had "nothing but the deepest respect" for Dreschler's professional abilities, and wished him "all the best."

"B.J. is an incredible man to do business with," Argento said. "I honestly hope that one day, he finds that sweetheart deal he truly deserves."

Tearing up, he added: "I'm sorry. I didn't think I would get emotional."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close