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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Night Out Thrown Off-Balance By Friend Unexpectedly Bringing Someone

ST. PAUL, MN—Local resident Nathan Erdlich’s night out was reportedly thrown completely off-balance Wednesday when his friend unexpectedly brought someone to join them for drinks, sources confirmed. “Um, hey, how’s it going?” Erdlich, 29, said to the unforeseen additional person, whom he had never met and whose presence compelled Erdlich and his friend to limit their conversation to broad, mundane topics all three could participate in. “So, you work near Brian? Same building, huh? Cool. Yeah, we used to be roommates.” An hour into the evening, Erdlich reportedly looked on in disbelief as the unanticipated stranger gestured to two additional people entering the bar.

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