adBlockCheck

Local

Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Night Out Thrown Off-Balance By Friend Unexpectedly Bringing Someone

ST. PAUL, MN—Local resident Nathan Erdlich’s night out was reportedly thrown completely off-balance Wednesday when his friend unexpectedly brought someone to join them for drinks, sources confirmed. “Um, hey, how’s it going?” Erdlich, 29, said to the unforeseen additional person, whom he had never met and whose presence compelled Erdlich and his friend to limit their conversation to broad, mundane topics all three could participate in. “So, you work near Brian? Same building, huh? Cool. Yeah, we used to be roommates.” An hour into the evening, Erdlich reportedly looked on in disbelief as the unanticipated stranger gestured to two additional people entering the bar.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close