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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?
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Nintendo Releases 'Phil Mickelson's Wacky Left-Handed Golf Tour'

NEW YORK—During a live demonstration at Nintendo's flagship Manhattan store Tuesday, company CEO Satoru Iwata debuted the company's new Phil Mickelson's Wacky Left-Handed Golf Tour for the Wii system, saying that he only needed to watch† Mickelson swing his driver once before being inspired to create multiple topsy-turvy three-dimensional left-handed mirror-worlds in which oversize golf balls explode in midair, massive sand-trap monsters engulf players, and tee shots are pushed 12,000 yards left of their intended target. "All the playable Miis become left handed," said a visibly giggly Iwata, adding that the game will come with special controllers consisting of a left-handed driver, iron, putter, and ball retriever. "Whether you are putting a ball into the mouth of a pink rhinoceros, or making sure your next shot lands on a cloud, you are doing it left-handed! You will look so silly playing in the upside down-world of Mr. Mickelson!" Satoru confirmed there would be a lengthy single-player quest mode in which gamers play as Mickelson and try to overthrow evil right-handed golfer Lion Forrest.

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