adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

No One At High School Remembers Asking Ray Lewis To Give Football Players Inspirational Pregame Speech

LAKEWOOD, CO—Saying that his appearance was equally confusing and startling, members of the Bear Creek high school coaching staff told reporters this week that none of them recalled inviting former Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis to give an inspirational pregame speech to their football team last Friday. “I got my guys down on one knee in the locker room and then he just sort of showed up and took over,” head coach Eric Moore said of Lewis, who reportedly began his 15-minute speech in a low whisper before gradually building up to full-throated screams as he punched lockers in front of the group of silent high school players. “He really scared my boys shitless. I know I didn’t invite him, and my assistants told me they didn’t either, so I have no idea where the hell he came from. I think I heard some of the opposing players saying he stopped in to talk to them before the game too.” Moore confirmed that neither he nor anyone else affiliated with the school or booster club asked Lewis to lead the team through the paper banner and onto the field.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close