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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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No One At Porn Site Responding To Area Man's Bad Link Report

CHARLESTON, SC—Frank Connor's repeated e-mails to the webmaster of Assmouthblowout.com concerning a bad link have gone without a response for more than a week, Connor said on the Erectionconnexxxion.net message board Tuesday. "Who do you have to blow to get them to fix the link to CumSoakedMILFs.com, for Christ's sake?" Connor said, emphasizing that, although the site is free, there was no excuse for such unprofessional behavior. "If they don't get back to me or fix the link soon, I'll have to start a petition to have the guys at Slam Train stop listing them as a featured site." Connor says he is also boycotting the website's advertisers, including Fleshlight and Boy Butter, "until such time as they start treating this loyal customer in a more professional manner."

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