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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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No One In Stadium Quite Sure Why Muhammad Ali Being Honored

ST. LOUIS—Unsure whether it was the famous boxer's birthday, his death, the anniversary of one of his historic fights, or some other previously unknown connection to St. Louis, a bewildered crowd at the Edward Jones Dome remained confused Friday night as to why Muhammad Ali was being honored during a preseason game between the Rams and Falcons. "Oh my God, wow, is he actually here or something?" asked Rams fan Chris Anderson, whose confusion was not cleared up after watching a montage of Ali on the JumboTron. "Okay, looks like we're giving him a standing ovation now. That's fine. I mean, it's Muhammad Ali." According to stadium officials, the mysterious ceremony honoring the former heavyweight champion was a commercial for Budweiser American Ale.

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