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No One Shows Up For Pro Bowl

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No One Shows Up For Pro Bowl

NEW YORK—Despite the game having been scheduled well over a year ago, not a single person associated with the NFL—players, coaches, reporters, or stadium employees—arrived in Honolulu for the Pro Bowl on Sunday. "No one came," NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said at a press conference. "I'd use this as an opportunity to reprimand those who failed to fulfill their duties, but, well, I didn't show up either. I hate the Pro Bowl. It sucks." Though Fox was forced to broadcast a blank screen in lieu of the game, the time slot boasted higher ratings than any Pro Bowl in history.

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