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The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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No One Speculating About Family Matters Series Finale

LOS ANGELES–With the historic final episode of CBS' Family Matters less than one week away, across the country, speculation is not running wild as to how the long-running series will end. "It seems like everywhere you go, people aren't talking about what's going to happen on the last episode of Family Matters," said Erie, PA, resident Laurie Dugan, one of an estimated 250 million Americans not planning to tune into CBS this Friday at 8 p.m. EST. "Jaleel White and Reginald VelJohnson have not crossed my mind at all this week." Friday's show is expected to be the least-watched series finale since last year's final episode of Ink.

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