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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
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Nobody Can Quite Make Out If Lou Holtz Just Went On An Anti-Muslim Rant On ESPN

BRISTOL, CT—It remains unclear whether ESPN college football analyst Lou Holtz went on a lengthy, bigoted tangent against Muslims during an on-air segment, sources at the network reported earlier today. “From what I could tell, he either said something derogatory about Muslims or just told me how much he likes roast beef,” said fellow analyst Mark May, who noted that Holtz kept spitting—apparently out of anger—throughout the incomprehensible diatribe. “The whole thing sounded like a mish-mash of anti-Islamic rhetoric along with a list of European cities or something about his ankles, though it was all admittedly pretty hard to discern. Whatever it was, I was offended.” Following his possible tirade, Holtz reportedly glared at the camera for several seconds until the video feed cut back to May.

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