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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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North Dakota Flooding Reminds People Of North Dakota's Existence

FARGO, ND—Flood waters reached record highs throughout North Dakota Tuesday, causing millions in property damage and reminding non-North Dakotans of the existence of the low-profile Great Plains state. "I've never been to North Dakota," said San Francisco-area investment banker Gabriel Bennett. "But I saw that movie about it." Phoenix housewife and mother of three Sheila Raines expressed similar recollection: "Isn't that where Mount Rushmore is, or is that the other one?" Once flood waters recede, North Dakota is expected to return to obscurity until February 2012, when all of its residents will perish in an ice storm.

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