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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Nostalgic Scientists Rediscover Polio Vaccine

NEW YORK—A half century after Jonas Salk first devised a vaccine for polio, nostalgic researchers at NYU Medical Center rediscovered the “classic” inoculation late Tuesday night, recreating the immunization treatment from a monkey kidney tissue culture determined to be highly evocative of the original. “It was a simpler time back then,” said project leader Dr. Timothy Riordan, who lamented his generation having lost touch with many traditions from the early days of virology. “They just don’t make vaccines like this anymore. There was a real craft to it back then.” At press time, the scientists had shifted their efforts toward finding a way to contain the new deadly and virulent strain of polio they had inadvertently created.

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