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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Not Very Good Album Takes A Little While To Get Into

BROOKLYN, NY—After a number of close listenings, local resident Brian Mott was finally able to get into a music album that is really not very good at all, sources reported Tuesday. "At first, it was kind of hard to penetrate, but now that I've heard the whole thing like six or seven times, I'm really starting to dig it," said Mott, who decided to stick with the utterly unimpressive record, and not be put off by the fact that it was, by any account, underwhelming at best. "It's definitely not for everyone, that's for sure." According to sources, Mott then went back to enjoying the overall crappy album by staring straight ahead for 43 minutes and furrowing his brow in intense concentration.

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