Not Very Good Album Takes A Little While To Get Into

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Vol 46 Issue 19

Nuggets Tell Dying George Karl They Made NBA Finals

DENVER—During a visit to his coach's deathbed at Denver Presbyterian Hospital on Wednesday, Nuggets All-Star Carmelo Anthony told a barely conscious, cancer-ridden George Karl that their team, which was eliminated during the first round...

Dallas Braden

A few weeks after becoming embroiled in a mound-crossing feud with Alex Rodriguez, Braden pitched the 19th perfect game in MLB history. Is he any good?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Not Very Good Album Takes A Little While To Get Into

BROOKLYN, NY—After a number of close listenings, local resident Brian Mott was finally able to get into a music album that is really not very good at all, sources reported Tuesday. "At first, it was kind of hard to penetrate, but now that I've heard the whole thing like six or seven times, I'm really starting to dig it," said Mott, who decided to stick with the utterly unimpressive record, and not be put off by the fact that it was, by any account, underwhelming at best. "It's definitely not for everyone, that's for sure." According to sources, Mott then went back to enjoying the overall crappy album by staring straight ahead for 43 minutes and furrowing his brow in intense concentration.

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