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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Now That Man Has Heard About Barack Obama, He Sees References To Him All Over The Place

WEST LEBANON, NH—After first learning of Barack Obama from a news broadcast last Friday, 29-year-old Aaron Chamberland said he has since been unable to go about his daily life without noticing references to the man nearly everywhere he goes. "It's one of those weird things. As soon as I heard it, it started appearing all over—online, on TV. I even saw it on a T-shirt," said Chamberland, noting he had been "astonished" to hear at least half a dozen complete strangers mention the name over the past several days. "Everywhere I go now it's Barack Obama this, Barack Obama that. It's like, 'What the fuck?'" Chamberland went on to tell reporters that his recent discovery eventually led him to realize that Barack Obama was the husband of first lady Michelle Obama, whom he has always greatly admired.

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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