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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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NRA Sends Complimentary Bereavement Gun Baskets To Families Of Shooting Victims

NEWTOWN, CT—As the nation continues to mourn the women and children who lost their lives in last month’s shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, the National Rifle Association has reportedly joined the outpouring of support for families of victims by sending each household a bereavement gun basket. “On behalf of everyone here at the NRA, we extend our deepest sympathies to your family during this difficult time, and hope you enjoy this complimentary assortment of the finest semi-automatic weapons and ammunition,” read the note accompanying each wicker basket, which included a variety of magazine cartridges, shooting range memberships, dried fruits, and high-powered firearms. “If there is any other ammunition or handgun accessory we can send to you, please let us know. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.” Sources said the NRA has also offered to match any assault rifle purchase in the Newtown, CT area.

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