adBlockCheck

Nuclear Bomb Detonates During Rehearsal For 'Spider-Man' Musical

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Nuclear Bomb Detonates During Rehearsal For 'Spider-Man' Musical

NEW YORK—In yet another setback for the $65 million dollar Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark—a production plagued by multiple delays, poor early reviews, and severe injuries to its cast and crew—a thermonuclear device detonated during the first act of Tuesday night's preview performance. "The bomb should not have gone off at all," said lead producer Michael Cohl, adding that the explosion that vaporized most of Manhattan was "not that unusual" for a major Broadway show still in development. "Spider-Man is supposed to swing down to the stage and deactivate a nuclear bomb, but his wires got tangled up, and by the time he got there and remembered the disarm code, it was too late. We're going to hire two more stagehands to make sure this doesn't happen again." Despite the setback, Cohl told reporters that he is more optimistic than ever about the production, saying that director Julie Taymor and composers Bono and the Edge were disintegrated in the explosion.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close