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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Nuclear-Bomb Instructions Found In Pentagon

ARLINGTON, VA— In an alarming development, plans for a thermonuclear device were found Monday in a Pentagon desk drawer. "These guys were definitely working on something," said United Press International correspondent Nigel Afton-George, who came across the plans while touring a section of the compound damaged in a Sept. 11 attack. "They had all sorts of manuals and plans for the construction and deployment of nuclear weapons. It's terrifying to think what they were planning to do with this stuff."

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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

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