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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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Nuclear Threat Still 'Very Real,' Says Muhammad Ali

LOUISVILLE, KY—Former world heavyweight boxing champ Muhammad Ali spoke out Monday against what he called “the ever-growing threat of thermonuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union.”  Ali, speaking from his Louisville home, made a personal appeal to Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev to settle their differences at the discussion table, not on the field of battle.  “Things have gotten completely out of control,” Ali said. “If we don’t stop this Cold War now, tomorrow there may not be any planet left for the children.”  Ali added that yellow is his favorite color. “It is a very pretty color. It reminds me of daffodils in the springtime.

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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