adBlockCheck

Nuclear Threat Still 'Very Real,' Says Muhammad Ali

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Lawn and Garden

Nuclear Threat Still 'Very Real,' Says Muhammad Ali

LOUISVILLE, KY—Former world heavyweight boxing champ Muhammad Ali spoke out Monday against what he called “the ever-growing threat of thermonuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union.”  Ali, speaking from his Louisville home, made a personal appeal to Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev to settle their differences at the discussion table, not on the field of battle.  “Things have gotten completely out of control,” Ali said. “If we don’t stop this Cold War now, tomorrow there may not be any planet left for the children.”  Ali added that yellow is his favorite color. “It is a very pretty color. It reminds me of daffodils in the springtime.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close