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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Oakmont Country Club Members Refuse To Give Up Regular Weekly Tee Times

OAKMONT, PA—The membership at Oakmont Country Club informed PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem yesterday that they will not be denied their regular, weekly tee times simply because the U.S. Open is scheduled to take place there this week. "I'm a dues-paying member here, have been for 25 years," said 17-handicapper Dr. Tom Sargent, who intends on playing in his usual 8:00 a.m. Thursday threesome with doctors Heidigger and Gimlet. "If those guys are playing slow, I'll hit into them. I can't stand when guests hold up play." Sargent's pairing is set to tee off after Sergio Garcia's group and before Tiger Woods'.

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