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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Obama Always Freaked Out By People Standing Above Him Smiling Whenever He Signs Bill

WASHINGTON—Explaining that the practice is “just flat-out bizarre if you think about it,” President Obama admitted to reporters Wednesday that he gets incredibly freaked out when people stand over him and smile every time he signs a bill into law. “They form this peculiar little semicircle around me, flash these big, forced grins, and watch over my shoulder as I write my signature—the whole thing really just weirds me out,” said Obama, adding that he would much prefer signing new legislation alone in the Oval Office “without anyone breathing down my neck.” “It’s always some members of Congress or my cabinet, and there are usually some small business owners or veterans or whatever, but the absolute worst is when a group of little children literally surround my desk and hover over me as I sign a bill. It’s so creepy.” Obama, however, expressed some measure of relief, anticipating that he will only have to endure the uncomfortable situation on one or two more occasions before leaving office.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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