Obama Begins Inauguration Festivities With Ceremonial Drone Flyover

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Vol 49 Issue 04

North Korea To Test New Nuclear Weapon

In response to recently imposed U.N. sanctions, North Korea vowed to conduct its third test of a nuclear weapon, warning of confrontation with its proclaimed “arch-enemy” the United States.

Study Exposes Risks Of Conducting Research While Driving

NASA continues its search for a planet capable of supporting NASA, Prince Harry announces that he killed some Taliban-looking people during his tour of duty, and a copy of 'The Scarlet Letter'' can't believe the notes a high schooler is writing in its mar...
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Obama Begins Inauguration Festivities With Ceremonial Drone Flyover

WASHINGTON—Taking the oath of office for his second term today, President Barack Obama joined thousands of supporters in the nation’s capital for traditional inauguration festivities that included a prayer invocation, a parade along Pennsylvania Avenue, and a ceremonial flyover of three combat drones. “When Obama was being sworn in on the Capitol steps, we could hear the drones screeching by overhead and everyone got really excited,” spectator Andrew Meyers, 34, said as he eagerly trained his eyes on the unmanned aerial vehicles that have taken out several hundred innocent civilians during presidentially authorized strikes in Pakistan and Yemen. “They go by super fast, but luckily there are Jumbotrons all over the National Mall, so nobody missed out. Wait, they’re coming back!” At press time, sources confirmed that inaugural celebrants were enjoying the Jumbotron’s live closed-circuit feed of the still-open prison facility at Guantánamo Bay.

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