Obama Clinches 'Joe Cabernet Sauvignon' Vote

Top Headlines

Recent News

Strongside/Weakside: Jurgen Klinsmann

Despite leading the U.S. men’s national team through the so-called “Group of Death” in the 2014 World Cup, Jurgen Klinsmann has come under heavy criticism this week after his side finished fourth in the 2015 Gold Cup. Is he any good?

How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop

With sales of the Apple Watch reportedly down 90 percent since its initial release, Apple is suffering in the wearables market and faces a lack of enthusiasm about its latest product. Here are some ways Apple can improve the watch and prevent the company from falling into a slump:
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Obama Clinches 'Joe Cabernet Sauvignon' Vote

WASHINGTON—Following a strong performance by the Democratic nominee in Tuesday's presidential debate, political analysts overwhelmingly agree that Sen. Barack Obama has all but clinched the much-sought-after "Joe Cabernet Sauvignon" voting bloc. "Once again, Obama has proved his ability to speak directly to all the regular truffle-oil-guzzlin', Nabokov-readin', opera-attendin' folks who play such an important part in deciding this election," MSNBC commentator Chris Matthews said of the Illinois senator's strong connection with the nation's hardworking gallery owners, literary critics, and gourmet-cheese purveyors. "His strong rapport with the average haut monde Joseph could tip the scales Nov. 4." Sen. John McCain's recent attempts to reach out to this constituency by wearing an elegant silk ascot were not well received, having been described in most quarters as "pandering of the most contemptuous variety."