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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Obama: Iraq Airstrikes Not Slippery Slope To Other Humanitarian Interventions

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reassure a weary American public, President Obama said Friday that his decision to authorize airstrikes to protect Iraqi Kurds and besieged Yazidi minorities was not the beginning of a slippery slope toward other humanitarian interventions. “Many are concerned that these strikes could lead to responding in a compassionate, principled manner to a host of other crises in the world, but I cannot and will not permit that to happen,” the president said at a press conference, emphasizing that the strike would not deteriorate into involvement on behalf of other oppressed peoples anywhere else on the globe. “As commander-in-chief, I can assure the American people that this is a limited-scale mission of mercy that will in no way take us down the road to stepping in on behalf of other persecuted groups. Nobody wants that.” At press time, polls suggested that the U.S. populace was divided on the airstrikes, and even supporters worried that humanitarian interventions had a way of getting out of hand.

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