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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Obama Not Sure How To Handle Compliment

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—During an appearance at a town hall meeting Monday to discuss the economic recovery, President Barack Obama reportedly seemed unsure how to respond to an earnest compliment from a man in attendance. "Now, hold on a second, let's consider the financial situation I inherited from my predecessor," a defensive Obama shot back before realizing local resident Bill Rhett's comment, "You're doing a fine job, Mr. President," was not intended to be sarcastic or denigrating in any way. "Oh, um, sorry. I mean…I mean thank you. Thank you for your support." White House sources said that in the days since receiving the compliment, the president has frequently stopped whatever he was doing, shaken his head in amazement, and smiled as he repeated the words "A fine job, Mr. President."

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