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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Obama, Romney Remain About Equally Powerful

WASHINGTON—Having won another four years in the White House, President Barack Obama will retain about the same amount of power as American multimillionaire Mitt Romney, leading political scientists confirmed today. “Thanks to his reelection, Obama has managed to stay on equal footing with Romney in terms of overall clout,” Northwestern University professor Julia C. Perlman said. “Obama remains commander in chief of the most powerful military in history, while Romney, whose income places him among the richest 0.01 percent of Americans, will have far more control over the world’s largest economy. And though Obama still holds veto power, Romney’s massive wealth ultimately makes it much easier for him to push legislation through Congress in the first place. So they have roughly the same amount of influence.” Perlman added that while presidents must work tirelessly to forge coalitions and advance their agendas, Romney can simply become CEO of a Fortune 500 company and make thousands of people do everything he says.

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