adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Obama, Romney Urge Americans To Purchase 'The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge'

AKRON, OH—In a rare display of bipartisanship just one day before the presidential election, President Barack Obama and Republican challenger Mitt Romney came together Monday to urge Americans to purchase The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge. “This nation is divided, it's been through hell, and The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is quite frankly the only thing that can heal its wounds and make it great again,” Romney and Obama said in a joint statement before appearing at a rally in which the two candidates joined hands and raised their own copies of the book high into the air. “Tomorrow, we are urging all of you to skip voting, go to any place books are sold, and buy this compendium of vital information. It’s not only the right thing for you, it’s the right thing for America.” Obama and Romney then spent hours reading the book—which can be purchased online right this very second—out loud to each other as the crowd roared in approval.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close