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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Obama Sort Of Freaked Out After Not Receiving Single E-Mail, Phone Call For Entire Day

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama told reporters Tuesday he was surprised and "a bit unsettled" that he had not received a single e-mail, phone call, or written briefing in the past 24 hours. "Usually there's at least a national security memo or a call or two from [White House chief of staff] Bill [Daley]," Obama said while watching CNN to make sure nothing had happened that might have disrupted the nation's telecommunications network or removed him from power. "They wouldn't leave me out of the loop on anything big, would they? I've got full bars here, so people should at least be able to reach me on my cell." Obama later used a Hotmail account to send a message to his work address with the subject line "E-mail Check," and it reportedly went through fine.

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