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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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Obama Takes Excited Daughters Out For Day Of Drone-Watching

WANA, PAKISTAN—Calling it a chance to get some fresh air and learn about the unmanned aerial vehicles inhabiting the Middle East, President Barack Obama took his daughters Sasha and Malia out to the tribal territories of Pakistan for an exciting afternoon of drone-watching, sources confirmed Wednesday. “Look, there’s one right there,” Obama reportedly whispered as he handed a pair of binoculars to his youngest daughter Sasha, keeping quiet so as not to alarm the RQ-11B Raven drone sweeping past a nearby mountain ridge. “And there’s another—that’s an MQ-9 Block 1-Plus Reaper. You can tell by the markings on its wings. Just a beautiful, beautiful drone. You may not see as many of those as you used to, but around here they’re still the kings of the sky.” According to reports, Obama then told the two girls that if they came back at nightfall, they might get to see a drone attacking its prey.

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