adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Black Man Does 8 Years

GO TO FEATURE

Obama Waiting For Perfect Moment To Walk By White House Tour Group

'They're Totally Going To Freak Out,' Excited President Says

WASHINGTON—According to White House sources, President Obama took a break from his national security briefing today in order to wait for just the right moment to stroll casually past an unsuspecting group of visitors taking the daily 9:30 a.m. guided tour of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. "Man, the look on their faces when they turn the corner and I'm just standing there—it's going to be insane," the president reportedly said while peering from behind a slightly ajar door in the West Wing and debating whether he should quickly cross behind the guide so the visitors would not even be sure they saw him, or sneak up behind the group and ask a question about White House history as if he were part of the tour. "I mean, they are totally going to shit their pants when they see me. This is going to be amazing." Obama added that once he made his introduction, he planned on handing the person at the front of the group his presidential pen and casually joking that he didn't want to see it ending up on eBay.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close