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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Obituary Cites Teen's Love Of Music, Cars

PHOENIX—Patrick Pryde, beloved 17-year-old son of Charles and Elizabeth, loved music and cars, the Phoenix Gazette reported on page D-18 Monday. "Patrick's enthusiasm and passion for life touched all who knew him," the obituary read. "Whether waiting in line overnight for Kid Rock tickets or checking his car's oil level, Patrick showed an unshakable determination and insatiable curiosity, both of which will forever live on in our hearts and minds." Other items mentioned as being loved by Pryde included video games, the Internet, and cable television.

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