adBlockCheck

Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
End Of Section
  • More News

Offbeat Congressman Having Trouble Finding Committee To Fit Into

WASHINGTON—Two months into his first term, Rep. Jason McKenna (D-OR) reported Monday that, despite his best efforts, he has been unable to find a congressional committee that appreciates his free-spirited personality and unique worldview. "I guess I just don't want to be pigeonholed as a 'Ways and Means guy' forever," said McKenna, adding that the atmosphere in Congress was "way more cliquey" than he had anticipated. "Everyone here is so obsessed with labels. Yes, I'm here to represent my district and all, but I'm also here to express myself. All these people care about is who gets what bill voted on by whom." Sources on Capitol Hill said the dissatisfied freshman representative spent his first few weeks in Washington wandering around the Smithsonian museums, smoking cigarettes on the National Mall, and trying to drum up interest in starting a congressional grindcore band.

More from this section

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close