adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Offensive Lineman Opens Up Massive Hole In His Frontal Cortex

PASADENA, CA—Exploding out of the three-point stance and driving the Auburn defender backwards, Florida State left guard Josue Matias reportedly opened up a massive hole in his frontal cortex Monday during the National Championship game. “Wow, he just slammed into the defensive lineman with such unbelievable force,” commentator Brent Musburger said of the catastrophic collision that created a huge hole in the middle of the frontal lobe and sprang the Seminoles’ ball carrier free for a three-yard gain. “He came barreling up the field and BOOM, just loosened the whole thing up. This is a BCS Championship memory that he’ll always [scarcely] remember.” Following the play, a dazed and disoriented Matias wandered back 15 yards after a teammate was penalized for clipping.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close