Official Proclamation Of Cleveland's Ban On Professional Sports

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Vol 47 Issue 11

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Official Proclamation Of Cleveland's Ban On Professional Sports

After years of wrenching disappointment, the city of Cleveland has finally cast professional sports aside, to be replaced with anything and everything that doesn't emotionally cripple every last citizen.

Various other sports cities across the country have been inspired by the ban, including Buffalo, which is planning a controlled burn of the Bills, and Los Angeles, which has determined all sports teams will be replaced with upscale oxygen lounges.

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