adBlockCheck

Ohio State Hires Jim Tressel As Head Football Coach

Top Headlines

Sports

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Ohio State Hires Jim Tressel As Head Football Coach

COLUMBUS, OH—Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith announced Thursday that the university has hired veteran coach Jim Tressel to helm the football program. "Coach Tressel is our kind of guy; he embodies what Buckeye football is all about," said Smith, adding that Tressel has already proven in past jobs that he can beat Michigan, win conference titles, and even capture a national championship. "We realize he has experienced some misfortunes in the past, but we think this is exactly the kind of atmosphere in which he can get a fresh start and build the kind of program Ohio State fans have come to expect." Smith told reporters that the school's ability to woo a coach with seven Big Ten titles and multiple coach of the year awards proves its legacy remains strong.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close