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'Okay, Gene, Let's Just Get Through This,' Marketing Executive Beginning Day Tells Self

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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'Okay, Gene, Let's Just Get Through This,' Marketing Executive Beginning Day Tells Self

NEW YORK—Suppressing all memories of his childhood dreams, DDB Worldwide marketing executive Gene Strassman reportedly spoke aloud instructions to himself to confront the day and begin his normal work routine Tuesday morning. “Here we go, just four hours until lunchtime,” Strassman murmured while booting up his office computer. “You can do this…you can plan and facilitate a rebrand meeting with the Applebee’s team.” After 30 minutes of stoically responding to interoffice e-mails, Strassman dutifully boarded the elevator to the 26th-floor conference room, momentarily hoping the doors would open on an empty shaft.

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